The squirrel in the illustration that you see is wearing a disguise. I know this because he looks "cute" and "loveable". The fact is, he's the spawn of Satan, and he's in my basement.
The weather in Michigan, this week, has been extremely cold. We've had -26 degree days and nights including wind-chill. This apparently caused Satan to go to my chimney to get warm. Soon, however, it was overcome by carbon monoxide and passed out, falling down my chimney. Upon awakening, Chucky (Satan) promptly found it's (I don't know if it is a 'he' or 'she') way out through the pipe to the furnace. Now, my basement is trash! My wife called me at work, saying that we had a very angry squirrel in our basement. I hurried home, knowing the damage an angry squirrel can do. This could be far worse than "a woman scorned", which is another of my biggest fears.
The first thing I did was have a beer to brace my nerves. Then, I donned my "Elmer Fudd" suit, complete with face covering and leather gloves......damn those angry squirrels! After loading the pellet rifle, grabbing a flashlight, and shoving a .22 caliber semi-auto pistol into my waistband, I was as ready as Rambo. I decended slowly down the basement stairs, not wanting Satan to come at me from nowhere. I looked around, opened a window, and placed a ladder below it (I figured I'd help Satan get to freedom). Now, I smelled gas! I turned around to the hot water heater.....thinking the pilot light might be out, I got down to the floor and looked for a flame. At that moment there was a commotion beside me and I ducked! When I regained my nerve, I turned and saw droppings on the floor (no, they weren't mine), and plastic soda bottles rolling about. Surely, Satan had taken steps to the open window. ( The illustration is mine. It's done with Windsor Newton watercolors on archival watercolor paper. It was painted in 1980....I must have had a premonition)
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